


shake it out

by eliottsevak



Series: Buddie-Verse [12]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 5 Things, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Kinda, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 15:41:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19088047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliottsevak/pseuds/eliottsevak
Summary: 'so i like to keep my issues strongBut it's always darkest before the dawn'





	shake it out

The first time Eddie really notices how gorgeous Buck is is when they're all at the beach, not just finding him attractive or acknowledging that he's hot, everyone knows that, but seeing how beautiful Buck really is. 

They are at the beach, Kiana and her girlfriend of almost 2 months now Tessa splashing in the water with Emma, Eddie is almost jealous of how well Kiana just threw Tessa into their life. How she doesn't seem to have any qualms or fears of her child meeting a girlfriend and it not working out. Eddie hadn't dated since Shannon, for many reasons, but the main one being he never knew if it would be serious enough to include Christopher in, so he just swore off dating altogether.

In 2 months a lot of things had happened, for one Athena and Bobby were out as a couple. The two of them were lounging together under a wide umbrella on towels at the beach, sipping lemonade Karen brought and watching May play in the ocean and Harry and Christopher build a sand castle.

Another was Maddie Buckley. A Buckley Eddie hadn't known existed until Chimney introduced them all as his girlfriend and Buck ran out of the room in a panic. Eddie still doesn't understand how Maddie didn't recognize her own brother, but everything seemed better now. Buck and Maddie were laying together, well Buck was laying off to the side with Thalia playing in the sand next to him while Maddie and Chimney were curled up together.

Denny and Hen were collecting seashells and cool rocks from the tide as Karen watched over. Eddie wasn't that far from Buck and Thalia, he could reach out and be only a foot away maybe, and he was looking at Buck, who had on black aviators, orange swim trunks and a white t-shirt. 

Chimney had asked him why the t-shirt and Maddie had a confused look between the two while Kiana told him to mind his own business. Chimney looked mildly offended before dropping the subject entirely. 

Buck had an umbrella over him but some sunlight still streamed down on to his golden skin, he had a book propped in his hand, half of the book in the sunlight and the other in the shade. Buck looked beautiful in the sunlight, and Eddie could admit that as many times as he wanted. He had come to terms with the fact that he thought Buck was gorgeous.

He couldn't do anything about it though, he wasn't gay. Buck wasn't gay and Eddie certainly wasn't, he just thought Buck was really pretty. Eddie would have to deal with those thoughts, not by acting on them, just shoving them down or letting them happen.

He hated those thoughts more than anything, the ones telling him that he shouldn't think Buck was gorgeous. Eddie really liked Buck, he knew this, but sometimes everything telling him he shouldn't, that he was bad or gross or everything he heard in his Church or the army makes him not want to even think about Buck. If he doesn't think about him the thoughts won't come. 

But Eddie thinks it's impossible for him to not think about Buck in every way possible, his jaw and his eyes, everything about him bathed in sunlight and just his face, his beautiful face that he shouldn't love to look at as much as he does. Suddenly Kiana is plopping down next to Thalia, Tessa following behind her, Tessa leans her head on Kiana's shoulder and Emma sits closest to Eddie, looking between him and Buck before smiling softly. She brings a finger up to her lips and makes an shhhh motion, and Eddie turns back to his phone, pretending it never happened.

The Second time it happens is when Buck is laying on his couch, he's spread out like an eagle and snoring dutifully, Thalia is laying on his side, her head is buried in his jacket and his arm is wrapped around her tiny body, engulfing her. Eddie smiles, he's drinking hot cocoa in his living room chair, the tv quietly plays some animated kids show in the back.

Thalia had gone to her first sleepover and freaked herself out because she missed her dad while they were working, Kiana couldn't get her and Buck didn't want to leave her stranded at work, so Eddie took Buck and picked Thalia up from her friend's house. 

The entire drive to Eddie's -which they had decided would be the destination because during the haste of leaving Buck forgot his keys- Had consisted of Buck calming Thalia down from her screaming fit, telling her that he was proud of her for at least trying, for putting herself out there and doing something that she wouldn't normally do, congratulating her on making it to almost 10:30. Buck seemed to know exactly what to say to her to calm her down enough to fall asleep, her head buried in his chest like always.

Now Buck is laying on his couch passed out and it's almost midnight, Chris went to bed hours ago but the three of them had stayed up late watching tv after Thalia woke up again. Buck had one arm hanging off the couch and his other wrapped around the ginger girl.

Eddie sipped his cocoa, taking in Buck's wild golden locks of hair falling atop his closed eyelids, the way the screen of the tv lit him up with pinks and blues, he had no stubble has he shaved yesterday and his shirt was riding up his hips, jeans turning at his ankles. His shoes were still on. Without even thinking about it Eddie got up and slowly took off his shoes, placing them on the floor by the couch. Eddie grabbed a blanket from the closet and draped it over the two Buckley's.

Buck was so pretty like this, the tv lighting him up, his daughter in his arms and completely stress-free, a look Eddie had truly never seen on his friend. Eddie sat back down and couldn't stop his eyes from closing, and he couldn't stop himself from wishing he was in Buck's arms too. 

 

Simply put, Buck was losing his goddamn mind. Kiana was laughing so loudly tears were coming out of her eyes and Tessa looked mildly amused from her place on the couch as Buck stared at his daughter wide-eyed. 

"What did you just say?" Buck asked, his eyes going wider, trying not to look stressed and failing. Even Stressed Buck was adorable. "Crap!" Thalia yelled cutely, Eddie snorted. He knew exactly what Buck was going through, his kids first curse word. Sometimes it comes much later, but when your as clumsy as Eddie, their first swear word being 'shitballs' at the ripe age of 3 was very common.

Buck immediately looked at Kiana, who was still laughing, her laughter going almost silent as she wheezed, her smile bright and tears streaming down her face. She wiped at them as she caught Buck glaring at her. "What you think this is my fault, Evan?" She remarked, pointing to Thalia. Buck nodded. Something Eddie had taken to notice was he only ever let Kiana call him Evan without glaring or telling them not to, even Maddie got side-eye whenever she said it. 

"Yes, I do!" Buck snapped, making Kiana laugh harder, Buck couldn't help but turn red as Eddie snorted. None of the other adults in the room seemed to think it was a big deal, but Buck was still trying. "Tessa, you agree with me right?" Buck pleaded. "Sorry Bucky but just tell her not to" Buck huffed and grabbed his daughter in his arms, engulfing her and walking out of the room with a huff. 

Eddie watched him go, staring at his ass in the jeans he had bought on a shopping trip with his sister, Kiana, and Tessa. "His ass looks good doesn't it?" Kiana asked as Buck left, Eddie's head snapped to her, she had a straw in her mouth and she was sucking on it, staring Eddie down. 

"I g-guess" Eddie stuttered out and Kiana snorted. "Dude, It's okay to think other dudes are hot" Kiana whispered, almost like she knew exactly what he was thinking, and Eddie looked at her with wide eyes. It wasn't a foreign concept to him, he had been getting better at knowing that him liking dudes wasn't bad, but still, the fact that Buck was straight distracted him from everything else.

"Yeah, I know. He's straight" Kiana laughed again loudly, Tessa cracking a smile next to her. "Dude No. I don't hang out with straight people" Kiana joked, Eddie furrowed his brows. "Chimney" Eddie responded. "Bisexual." Kiana waved him off, not giving Eddie a moment to address the fact their whole firehouse was gay except for Bobby.

"Are you sure you should be telling me about Buck's sexuality?" He asked incredulously. Kiana seemed to think this over for a moment. "Dude it's in his Twitter bio" she shoved her phone in his face and sure enough there it was. 

Buck bisexual he/him

Eddie smiled, maybe there was something there, but before he could ask Kiana any more questions Buck came back in those jeans that hugged his thighs and the sweater Eddie wanted to rip off of him. He swallowed thickly and handed back the phone. Kiana only smirked as the 4 adults fell into conversation about Thalia and her first curse word, Eddie not being able to keep his eyes off Buck.

 

The third time something like that occurs, Buck is taking a shower in Eddie's shower, after a long day of work and Kiana saying she was gonna stay with Emma and Thalia tonight, also taking Christopher with her the two men decided to hang out alone, but first they needed to shower off the grime from the day.

Eddie only had one shower, and he wasn't about to share so he let Buck take the first shower. Buck comes out in a t-shirt, dripping wet with a towel hung around his hips. Eddie wants to ask why he's wearing a t-shirt but he's afraid if he does Kiana will appear out of nowhere to say something snarky to him. Kiana is usually always nice unless someone says something she or Buck doesn't like. 

Eddie stays quiet, but the air is tense, Buck knows Eddie is wondering, he's waiting for a question about it with wet tense shoulders and Eddie is freaking out and filling with curiosity cause he wants to know. Eddie bites his tongue as Buck walks back into the bathroom, his wet curls dripping in front of his eyes and down the back of his neck, Eddie wants to take the water off his neck in one swoop.

Maybe cup his neck and pull their faces together, kiss Buck until their both breathless and breathing heavy. Until they're covered in red blushes. He wants to kiss Buck until he can't think of anything else, until he gets dizzy, wants to make Buck weak at the knees and kiss him like the world is ending. 

"Earth to Edmundo?" Buck waves a hand in front of his face and smiles when Eddie's eyes lose the glazed over look. Eddie smiled at him, "Yes Evan?" Eddie snarked, Buck, frowned but ignored the use of his name, and Eddie raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You don't mind me calling you Evan?" He bit his tongue the second he said it, just word vomiting all over Buck. He shouldn't be doing this, he's always been the calm one in relationships, or the one relationship he had with Shannon.

"Yeah. I don't mind. I like the way you say it" And something changes the second the words leave is pink lips. The air is lighter and warmer, everything around them seems to heat up. Eddie is leaning forward a little bit just as the door slams open. Eddie closes his eyes intensely. 

"BUCKAROO" Kiana shouts, she walked into the kitchen, Tessa and the kids trailing behind her, Tessa has on a yellow hijab today and a white sweater. "Hey guys" Buck composes himself and leans forward. "Tessa, how you feeling, hungry?" Buck asked her, Tessa nodded, sitting down at the bar stool, Christopher ran to greet his dad and Eddie hugged him, welcoming him home.

"Always. 1 hour until sundown and Ramadan ends tomorrow. I'll miss it" She smiles at him and Buck nods, "hows my little girl doing?" He directs his attention to Thalia, who's giggling and holding cotton candy on a stick in her hand. "You guys went to a carnival?" Eddie asked the girls, Kiana shook her head wickedly. "Kiana bought a cotton candy machine, ice cream machine, and a popcorn maker for the house called them essentials," Buck remarked with a happy smile.  
"You didn't seem to be complaining after your breakup with Abby" Eddie tensed but Buck laughed. "Fuck you dude," He said, not really bothering to cover Thalia's ears. "Thalia doesn't repeat what Daddy just said," He told her, "Dude?" Thalia asked. "You can say, dude."

 

The fourth time is completely by accident. Eddie didn't even know he had a thing for backs until he saw Buck's bare back. Their shift had ended about 20 minutes ago and Eddie was supposed to go home with Buck that night for another playdate. After their almost kiss in Eddie's apartment they still hung out, but never brought it up. They never hung out alone anymore either, using the kids or Kiana and Tessa as an excuse.

Eddie was getting bored of just waiting on his phone for Buck to make an appearance, so he grabbed his bag and swung it over his shoulder, sauntering into their locker room type setup for changing. Eddie opens the door quietly, hoping for Buck not to notice, maybe surprise him. Eddie rounds a corner of lockers and he's looking at Buck's back.

The first thing he notices is his shoulders, his large shoulders, and his arms, Eddie covers his mouth to make sure no drool comes out because that would be the most embarrassing part about this. Buck's back is muscle, pure muscle and Eddie has never been more attracted to Buck ever, while they may not be true. Eddie considers Buck's hottest moments when he's taking care of any kid, especially when he takes of Christopher like he's his own. 

Eddie's foot accidentally bangs against the locker and Buck twirls around, bringing his shirt up to cover his chest. It's then Eddie realizes Buck was staring into the mirror, for how long? Eddie asked himself. If Buck was judging himself Eddie just wanted to shake him and tell him he was beautiful. 

"What the fuck Eddie?" Buck asked. "Sorry sorry. I just wanted to- you were taking awhile- I- sorry." Eddie said finally, Eddie nodded and walked off, feeling his stomach fill with dread. He had fucked everything up, royally fucked everything up so fucking bad. He gets into his car and waits for Buck, wondering if he'll even come. Or if he'll just get a bus and leave Eddie. Eddie would understand.

Buck gets into the passenger seat, tears running down his cheeks, Eddie doesn't mention them. "Can you take me home?" Buck asked in a small voice, he seemed impossibly sad, and small. So fucking small and tiny, like he was looking for any place to hide, like when Thalia hid from people she knew well because it was all too much. Buck looked like he wanted a jacket to crawl into and hide in forever. 

Eddie pulled over and unbuckled, "what are you doing?" Buck asked, his voice hoarse, and Eddie felt worse, this was his fault, Buck's tears staining his cheeks and grey sweater. Buck crying was his fault, and he was gonna fix it. Eddie pushed the middle console up and scooted over, unbuckling Buck's seatbelt. "Can I hug you?" Eddie asked seriously, hands itching to touch. "Eddie-" "Can I give you a hug?" It was a desperate plea, of how much Eddie needed this too, to just feel comforted for once.

Buck nodded shyly and Eddie dove in, wrapped his arms around his shoulders, letting Buck's hang at his waist. Eddie buried his head into Buck's head of dirty blonde curls and Buck dug his head into Eddie's neck, Eddie breathed out and listened to Buck quietly cry into his neck, he would leave the collar of Eddie's tight t-shirt wet but Eddie didn't seem to care.

They stayed like that for minutes, maybe hours, the time didn't matter as they pressed their bodies together, rubbing each other's shoulders and nuzzling each other necks. Eddie had no idea if friends hugged like this, and for as long as they had, Eddie had never hugged like this in the army, and he was eating it up. 

 

Eddie wakes up almost 6 hours later when the sun is rising, Buck is on top of him, their tangled together in the backseat, fully clothed and still cuddling. Eddie wakes them both up and drove Buck home as he answered his worried texts from Kiana. 

They don't talk about it when Eddie drops Buck off at his house, "See you tomorrow Evan" He whispered, "See you tomorrow Edmundo" they both smile and Buck walks inside, Thalia greeting his leg as soon as he opened the door.

Eddie thinks about as he makes breakfast for him and Christopher and later when he showers, thinks of Buck's hard shoulders and his soft stomach, his arms and his blonde curls, perfect length for running your fingers through them and tugging.

He thinks about it the next day when he and Buck see each other at work, Buck smiling like yesterday never happened, they don't talk about it the whole day. The day after that, they don't mention it. They look at each other and know their both thinking about that night, but they think that if either of them talks about it, it wouldn' be real, like it was some fever dream they both had, they don't want to taint the memory by talking about what it really meant. But both of them don't know the other felt that it meant the same thing as them.

**Author's Note:**

> DAY 2. so happy I finished this on day 3 at least. Hopefully, Day 3 and 4 should be out by the end of the 4th the 5th might come a little later cause I'm working but I really hope you enjoyed this shit!


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